a funny thing happened on the 22 bus today
Well, not really funny. But interesting. And somewhat frustrating.
It was actually typical of any bus ride. Young woman on a cell phone, speaking loudly, quite passionately really, about her appointment to do her sister's hair and how it was going to take a long time to get the dye and how she can't believe that she's now cancelling it and how she felt she was like really upset about that fact and.... well... you get the drift.
Her one-sided dialogue was at the volume that the rest of the packed bus ("Please move all the way to the back folks...") could hear her. And the guy sitting beside her, I assume it was him as I was sitting in front of this whole thing and couldn't see it happen, says something like, "Can you have this conversation at a more reasonable volume?" or "Can you shut up?" or in a girl-like voice, "I'm like a really dumb girl who spends her whole day on her cell phone talking loud on the bus!"
Whatever it was, it pissed her off. Enough that she said, "Hey, why don't you mind your own business, okay?"
To which her fellow bus-rider said something like, "Are you f**king kidding me?!?" and it went all down hill from there. Not a very good argument, but a heated one, with lots of profanity.
Oh, and she stayed on the phone the whole time she had it.
At some point, he uttered a final "F**k you!" and got off the bus. And then she continued with her dialogue, now doing some kind of meta-commentary to her invisible friend about the exchange that she'd just been part of and how she couldn't believe the nerve of some people, so on, and so on and so on...
Deep down inside, behind my eyes reading the pages of the book in front of me but not really processing the words, more engrossed with this petty squabble at the back of our overloaded bus, I desperately wished I could have pulled one of these from my bag.
And then after that, my mind raced about the notion between public and private spaces, the disregard for others, the perception that we have a choice when it comes to listening to loud cell-phone talkers, and the difference between her annoying conversation with her virtual counter-part and the in-person conversation between two other passengers a few seats ahead of me. I didn't see anyone go off the handle at them and they were talking just as loud, if not louder... The role of technology in all of this, the distintegration of manners and civility in public spaces, how I hate riding transit sometimes... etc. My mind was on overdrive and I didn't manage to jot it all down, while still keeping one ear on the phone-girl and my eyes in my book.
We know this kind of behaviour is annoying. We know it gets on our nerves. But why? What sent this guy into a swearing rage on a bus at a girl having a silly (but loud) conversation with a piece of plastic and silicon? What the hell is going on there?
Our collective personal spaces were being violated on the bus. Held in disregard. And unlike an encroachment on our physical space, we had nowhere to go. Some transit riders increasingly define their auditory space through the trendy white earbuds of their ipod or massive headphones of their CD player. This is one not-so-subtle way of redefining or reclaiming your immediate environment: drown out the noise of obnoxious cell phone users.
Clearly this young woman saw her use of her cellphone and the volume at which she spoke to be her right. She could speak on that cellphone for as long and as loud as she damn well pleased. There were no rules on the bus about speaking loudly into a cellphone, after all.
Unfortunately, the only guy on the bus with the balls to stand up to her and challenge this notion was a poor rhetorician. He slung a stream of insults at her, not compelling arguments as to why she could finish up her call at a more reasonable volume or postpone it until she was in a private space. And how, as the excellent design of the SHHH cards state, "it doesn't interest us in the least."
I ran across the study of personal space early in my undergraduate education, with Edward T Hall's groundbreaking 1966 book, The Hidden Dimension. Lots stuck with me from that 100 level communications text, including his notion of proxemics and the intercultural differences of personal spaces. I still joke about my friends being polychronic and monochronic in their perception of time. Funny to a select group of friends who know what the hell I'm talking about, mind you.
Anyhow, what happened no the bus today? Was it a trend, a cultural shift in the norms of personal space and technology? Or was this girl just rude and obnoxious and could care less about societal norms (itself a change in societal norms)?
Either way, I'm sparking up the printer tomorrow and making some cards for my next trip on the bus.
Watch out #22 riders.
It was actually typical of any bus ride. Young woman on a cell phone, speaking loudly, quite passionately really, about her appointment to do her sister's hair and how it was going to take a long time to get the dye and how she can't believe that she's now cancelling it and how she felt she was like really upset about that fact and.... well... you get the drift.
Her one-sided dialogue was at the volume that the rest of the packed bus ("Please move all the way to the back folks...") could hear her. And the guy sitting beside her, I assume it was him as I was sitting in front of this whole thing and couldn't see it happen, says something like, "Can you have this conversation at a more reasonable volume?" or "Can you shut up?" or in a girl-like voice, "I'm like a really dumb girl who spends her whole day on her cell phone talking loud on the bus!"
Whatever it was, it pissed her off. Enough that she said, "Hey, why don't you mind your own business, okay?"
To which her fellow bus-rider said something like, "Are you f**king kidding me?!?" and it went all down hill from there. Not a very good argument, but a heated one, with lots of profanity.
Oh, and she stayed on the phone the whole time she had it.
At some point, he uttered a final "F**k you!" and got off the bus. And then she continued with her dialogue, now doing some kind of meta-commentary to her invisible friend about the exchange that she'd just been part of and how she couldn't believe the nerve of some people, so on, and so on and so on...
Deep down inside, behind my eyes reading the pages of the book in front of me but not really processing the words, more engrossed with this petty squabble at the back of our overloaded bus, I desperately wished I could have pulled one of these from my bag.
And then after that, my mind raced about the notion between public and private spaces, the disregard for others, the perception that we have a choice when it comes to listening to loud cell-phone talkers, and the difference between her annoying conversation with her virtual counter-part and the in-person conversation between two other passengers a few seats ahead of me. I didn't see anyone go off the handle at them and they were talking just as loud, if not louder... The role of technology in all of this, the distintegration of manners and civility in public spaces, how I hate riding transit sometimes... etc. My mind was on overdrive and I didn't manage to jot it all down, while still keeping one ear on the phone-girl and my eyes in my book.
We know this kind of behaviour is annoying. We know it gets on our nerves. But why? What sent this guy into a swearing rage on a bus at a girl having a silly (but loud) conversation with a piece of plastic and silicon? What the hell is going on there?
Our collective personal spaces were being violated on the bus. Held in disregard. And unlike an encroachment on our physical space, we had nowhere to go. Some transit riders increasingly define their auditory space through the trendy white earbuds of their ipod or massive headphones of their CD player. This is one not-so-subtle way of redefining or reclaiming your immediate environment: drown out the noise of obnoxious cell phone users.
Clearly this young woman saw her use of her cellphone and the volume at which she spoke to be her right. She could speak on that cellphone for as long and as loud as she damn well pleased. There were no rules on the bus about speaking loudly into a cellphone, after all.
Unfortunately, the only guy on the bus with the balls to stand up to her and challenge this notion was a poor rhetorician. He slung a stream of insults at her, not compelling arguments as to why she could finish up her call at a more reasonable volume or postpone it until she was in a private space. And how, as the excellent design of the SHHH cards state, "it doesn't interest us in the least."
I ran across the study of personal space early in my undergraduate education, with Edward T Hall's groundbreaking 1966 book, The Hidden Dimension. Lots stuck with me from that 100 level communications text, including his notion of proxemics and the intercultural differences of personal spaces. I still joke about my friends being polychronic and monochronic in their perception of time. Funny to a select group of friends who know what the hell I'm talking about, mind you.
Anyhow, what happened no the bus today? Was it a trend, a cultural shift in the norms of personal space and technology? Or was this girl just rude and obnoxious and could care less about societal norms (itself a change in societal norms)?
Either way, I'm sparking up the printer tomorrow and making some cards for my next trip on the bus.
Watch out #22 riders.
4 Comments:
Oh Gord. You get the best posts out of the smallest details. Nice work!
And also, you remind me why I bike to work. And I like transit, relatively speaking.
By
Ryan, at 2:14 am
...one time on the bus after hearing a cell phone ring i saw a fellow answer his shoe and proceed to talk loudly to god while massaging himself quite suspiciously. now that was annoying.
sp
By
Anonymous, at 10:06 pm
Anonymous, I think you're confusing the word "annoying" with the word "entertaining".
By
Anonymous, at 2:28 pm
"Deep down inside, behind my eyes reading the pages of the book in front of me but not really processing the words, more engrossed with this petty squabble at the back of our overloaded bus, I desperately wished I could have pulled one of these from my bag. "
No. You desperately wanted to pull this out: http://www.defensedevices.com/asp-26-inch-baton.html
Worth its weight in gold for putting bitches in line and walking in cold dark alleys where your ass virginity could be compromised (except for prison. you're not allowed one of those in there).
jon
By
Anonymous, at 12:48 pm
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